Knott's Merry Farm: 2021 Review

Knott’s Berry Farm, Buena Park, CA

Pardon… it’s been a while since I’ve done this. Albert told me it was like riding a bike… I don’t believe him. So um… where’s the space bar? Oh, the big one… got it. Siri, set a timer for 25 minutes.

Wait… have I been on voice to text? Shoot. Sorry. Hi everyone. Miss me? No? Me either.

Guys, I’m so sorry. I basically lost a bet with Albert and now I have to write this one. So here we are. I’m sure this is going to trigger some PTSD for some of you… especially those of you named Jeff.

So for the uninitiated, Knott’s Merry Farm is basically like Knott’s Scary Farm except with 100% less fog and screaming (unless you count me whenever I see an elf or anything merry or festive). It’s basically heaven for people who love putting pumpkin spices (where do the spices come from?) on everything from coffee to steak. It is wonderful. It is happy. And thinking about it… it kinda makes me wanna gag a little. Can’t we have like… Santa sliders in Ghost Town? Maybe just one monster? Walk around Krampus? Please?

One of the fabulous features of Merry Farm is the nightly scrubbing of the masses with “snow” (read: SNOAP)… wash up!

Like Christmas choo-choo? Me too! And Knott’s has ya covered on this! Look at this amazingly festive choo-choo (technical term). The term Choo-Choo came from Alphonse Chooch who actually invented trains. I DID MY RESEARCH.

Introducing Westcoaster’s newest sidekick. This is my homie Hank (not mine). He’s pretty rad. He’s basically like Doc Holiday… he’s got a gun that shoots glowy bubbles (pretty sure Val Kilmer has one too). He’s your Huckleberry.

Huckleberry also loves himself some love from a warm puppy. Because, let’s face facts, no love is more wonderful and pure than the love between a boy and his favorite dog.

OMGWTFBBQEIEIO!!!!! YOU GUYS!!!! Okay, so Westcoaster has been around for over 20 years now… and we OBSESSED over the Catawampus for years. Sincerely, I always loved the weird history of this stupid mooing log. It’s very truly something that makes Knott’s what it is… it’s quirky, it’s weird. It’s fun! I absolutely adore that the park has embraced its weird with this stuff!

Okay, because we’ve all put on a few pounds during COVID times… have some assorted cupcakes.

I call this “Went to Toothsome once and got an ‘idea’.” Was this an IAAPA benchmark find?

Those poor turkeys!

What part of the turkey does a poutine come from? I’m not saying that Canadians just make dumb stuff up… but they do. Ugh… name one thing good to come from Canada apart from Rush, Barenaked Ladies and The Tragically Hip… actually, yeah, y’know. Canada, you’re forgiven. Thank you for poutine, Rush, Barenaked Ladies and The Tragically Hip. But I will never forgive you for Brian Adams and Celine Dion. But also thanks for Rachael McAdams.

I haven’t opened Knottsopoly but if they didn’t include Windjammer, it’s not worth it…

Who doesn’t love a good display where people worship some random thing. Lord knows I do. Every year I set one up… this year I’m going to do one where everyone of the figures worships a Jack In The Box taco.

Okay…

These people seem very happy to be singing together. Recently I did a radio gig and getting the three of us in the studio to sing a couple of words poorly in even worse harmony was basically like performing brain surgery. So respect to these folks.

MOO.

Ya’ll… I know it’s been a while. I’ve been off on a crazy adventure called life. I’m so grateful for Albert keeping the wheels on the cart that is Westcoaster. I’m truly thankful as well for our long term mutual friendship with places like Knott’s Berry Farm over the last 20+ years. Those folks have really been the backbone of the stuff we’ve been able to bring you all.. Thanks!

Thank you… all of you, literal tens and tens of thousands of eyeballs (think about that for a minute… ewww) seeing this stuff. So many eyeballs. But we do this all for you… and your eyeballs.

Be good humans.

GOO BAH!

Photos by Jen and Jim Disney