Disneyland Resort Update: Conspiracy of the Missing Hotel
Disneyland Resort, Anaheim, CA
Aaaaaaand we're back at the Happiest Place on Earth! This will actually be our last update from the Disnerands before we shift into the spooky wooky portion of our year-long update schedule. And just in time! Today, we're going to take a cold, hard look at just what's going on with that stalled hotel over at the Disneyland Resort. And while other sites have provided in-depth reporting over the dispute between the Disney and the city of Anaheim, we've actually sleuthed deeper into the netherworld to uncover a complicated mystery behind why construction this future "four diamond hotel" has gone missing.
Spoilers: it involves murrrderrrrrr... or not. Read on and see!
Oh, and we check out what's going on around the Resort in non-hotel business too.
PIXAR'S PINOCCHIO PAL-A-ROUND AND FOX AND FRIENDS AND FRIENDS AND ASSOCIATES PARKING STRUCTURE FEATURING MARVEL MOTORPOOL AND STAR WARS SHUTTLE STOPS AND OTHER ACQUIRED LICENSES AKA THE CLEO STRUCTURE
Our mystery starts in this [outdoor] gallery, where you see formwork of some of our concrete as they appeared in their freshly poured, uncured state. You see, we've noticed that work on the new adjacent parking structure has kicked into overdrive just as delays on the start of hotel construction started occurring. Coincidence? Well, what if I told you that the parking structure wasn't a parking structure at all, but actually a giant cover-up for the hotel?
Oh sure, they've started framing two bridges on the west and east sides of the structure connecting to the existing Mickey and Friends garage, as though they'll allow cars to connect between the two lots and navigate back and forth. But do you know what also has bridges? Some hotels! It's clear this is a conspiracy to place the hotel inside the parking structure as part of Disney management's new cost cutting measures and emphasis on synergy. Just as Pixar Pier allowed cross-promotion of the Incredibles 2 movie, playing dual roles, the parking structure allows a framework for a new hotel! Only this one will also fit cars in it. Cars? Just like the Cars franchise? SYNERGY! Conspiratorial synergy.
Of course, all the rush is so this can open in time for next year's "Star Wars" Land expansion. They'll need to be able to house more guests and tourists, and clearly, Disney management has decided to go the fast and cheaper route of building in lodging. Using the latest prefab technology, they'll slot already-constructed rooms into each parcel of the structure. It's no coincidence that the columns are arranged in an efficient grid--perfect for a module layout. The signs are all there!!
Downtown Disney Construction
Of course, Disney doesn't want you to know its true plans, which is why they've continued on with this ruse that work is continuing near the site of where the hotel was supposed to go. The work walls we saw around the monorail last update? Sure, the official story is that this is most likely related to the pathway that guests will take in a detour into Downtown Disney after the current entrances adjacent to ESPN Zone are shut down. But that's just part of the ruse. Disney is just throwing work walls up to make it seem like work is happening, but it isn't. They're also moving the food trucks around the old AMC Theater around to make it seem like progress is being made. It's just an illusion.
That illusion continues over at the Ballast Point and Black Taps refurbishments. Not much progress can be seen on the outside, and that's just the point. It's just a cover-up over secret happenings that our undercover reporters have discovered. However, these secrets are so shocking and potentially damaging that we cannot report to you what we've found. Just trust us when we say that it's more than just regular construction of two restaurants and a patio area!
...On the other hand, the Naples facade remodel is openly progressing along, with framing for the canopy moving forward. Nothing being hidden there. We actually could not find any sort of conspiracy. Go figure.
Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge
What we did find, however, over at Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge, will flabber your ghast. It turns out that all those rocks, which Disney is claiming to play the role of the old, giant "petrified trees" of Batuu was actually the murder weapon to kill the Downtown Disney hotel location! It makes sense. This hotel was clearly going to be a sprawling and enormous building, and you can't just slay that with a simple pocket knife or common peasant's mace. No, you need something just as massive as the hotel to fell it. You need some big, giant, sharp-pointed rocks.
Don't you see? It all connects! "Star Wars" Land slays the hotel site. This allows Disney to secretly place the hotel rooms in the new parking structure, which is way cheaper. The hotel wouldn't have been complete before Batuu opens to the public next year anyway, so the Imagineers needed something to save them from the crowd congestion and under-sized tourist lodging accommodations that they were creating with their beast of a Disneyland expansion. Making the parking structure the real hotel fulfills this demand. And what's more, did you catch that? Imagineers. For Imagineering. That's a 5-syllable word that starts with an I. Do you know what else is a 5-syllable word that starts with an I? ILLUMINATI!!
Mind.
Blown.
Various Park Refurbishments
To distract guests from uncovering the truth about the Parking Structure's role and make construction seem more normal, Disney has started to place some buildings inside the parks under wraps. The Main Street Cinema is currently closed while this occurs, which explains another mystery. Remember the Main Street Indian's removal recently? Sure, what The Man (and The Mouse) want you to think is that the Indian was in the footprint of the workwalls and within the refurbishment zone, so they temporarily removed him to give him some TLC as well and afford some more extensive touch-ups on the Main Street facade.
But that doesn't make sense. Who does refurbishment in the middle of the summer? In the busy season? That's bad show! And not only that, Disney Clothiers is also under wraps, though the store itself remains open. There's definitely something fishy, and I don't just mean the seafood dish of the day across the street at Carnation Cafe.
The Tropical Hideaway still looks the same from the outside, but Disney just released details on some of the food offerings guests can expect. They're of the Asian flair, and they sound pretty scrumptious! That's just another distraction from the truth--that Disney is coordinating a series of false flag construction projects to hide the fact that they killed the Downtown Disney hotel in cold blood just to shove a soulless harvested clone in the parking structure expansion. Open you mind! It's so obvious!
Work walls over by New Orleans Square around planters? More of the same. Who needs that much effort to work on planters? That seems odd. And the Art of Animation Building at DCA? Part of the collusion. It doesn't need work. You can still see the marquee scrolling through the scrim. So why would they put up tarps and covers? To further the illusion, that's why!!
Pixar Fest's Final Days & Pixar Pier Progress
Disney is going through all these lengths because Pixar Fest is slowly winding down, and soon, guests will be less distracted by all the seasonal Pixar things that have been provided during the summer-long promotion. Pixar Fest runs through next Monday, Labor Day, and then it will vanish. So will all the specialty foods, which have been secretly injected with brain chemicals to make guests not question anything and just accept what Disney is putting in front of them. This is why you should not get any of the 482 specialty churros and cake pops and sweets associated with the Pixar Fest culinary menu. Resist the sweets! Dan knows. The sweets can be life altering. Don't fall for them...
If you want proof that Disney isn't beyond such vicious dealings, look only to the old King Triton Carousel. It knew of the conspiracy, and it tried to speak out. But Disney caught wind and had it shut down. Silenced forever. Even now, as we speak, it is being replaced with a far more subservient merry-go-round in the form of Jessie's Critter Carousel.
Don't you think it's odd that a project that "debuted" this past June still has work going on? Clearly, that's part of the conspiracy! Those who speak up get replaced, and Disney never would have planned to try to fit a 1+ year refurbishment project into the span of just a few months. That would just be incredibly short sightedness. No, clearly the old carousel was going to talk, and Disney couldn't have it. Thus, you can see it currently in the progress of losing its former identity. The Mouse doesn't like it when you cross it.
Halloween Creeps into the Disneyland Resort
Of course, Disney won't be having Pixar Fest end without a backup plan to maintain its mind control and keep unsuspecting guests still unsuspecting. That is why Halloween Time is coming to the Disneyland Resort, once again haunting both parks starting Friday, September 7th. That's earlier than past years, and while some might claim that this is simply the result of how the calendar days of the week fall this, by now, you and I know the truth. It's part of the cover-up. Disney is already introducing cute merchandise and interesting souvenirs to keep the public brainless and under control.
Sure, they need the other construction projects to tide things over a bit over the week between Pixar Fest and Halloween Time. There are abnormalities everywhere, and you only have to look at what's in front of you to find them. The Haunted Mansion is already down for refurbishment to transform into the Haunted Mansion Holiday. That sounds fine and dandy, but didn't they used to complete this transformation in under a week? Why close the popular ride down before Annual Passholder summer blackouts even end? Because it's all part of the cover-up!
But once Halloween Time starts in full force, the grip will be complete again. Especially once Mickey's Halloween Party begins on Wednesday, September 19th!
Don't be deceived by the smoke and mirrors. Everything Disney sets in front of you is a carefully calculated part of the presentation to pull the wool over your eyes. Things like new, adorable Disney food plushes (for those who didn't get to go to Sparrow Mart or didn't want to pay its exorbitant prices) are just ways to distract from the truth: that Disney is a hotel project murderer.
Hopefully, you've seen the light after reading this update. I know it's a lot to digest, and I've already put myself in great risk by revealing what I have and tying the evidence together. If the powers that be ever knew, I'd be detained and sent to Disney Jail. Or worse--Disney Internment Camp--otherwise known as Disney's River Country. Fortunately, Westcoaster is way too small a fish to get noticed by any actual public media, so I think I'm safe.
Until next time, never lose sight of the truth.
Goo b---
Architect. Photographer. Disney nerd. Haunt enthusiast. Travel bugged. Concert fiend. Asian.