Chill: 2016 Review

Hi everyone... bad news.  Albert's gone missing.  Yeah, I'm not sure what happened.  But I'm pretty sure he got kidnapped by some... I dunno... probably some sherpas or something.  He's most likely freezing his butt off in Nepal right now, or something, who knows.  (Sherpa kidnappings are a thing, GOOGLE IT.). 

So that leaves your poor pitiful selves with me.  And it means I have to write things... yeah, trust me, I'm regretting it too.  So his last act was to send me a bunch of pictures from Chill at the Queen Mary.  Think of it as Dark Harbor except less death and spoopy things.  Mostly festive things here.  Y'know, if you're into happy festive merriment stuff.  

The detail thingies before I pummel your faces with photographs to entice you to go and throw dollars at these people.  The event is running selected nights from November 23, 2016 to January 8, 2017 and costs any where from $34.99-$44.99 if purchased in advance on their website ($5 off the at-the-door prices).  There are other options available, including the add ons like front of the line access and ice skating ($15 each, per person).  Make sure you check the link above for more details.  

Alright... how about pictures with most likely inaccurate captions?  Let's do this... 

So the whole thing started with a tree lighting... 

This is a tree... 

Then Not-Elsa showed up for something, idk... 

IT'S LIT FAM

Not-Elsa

This is where you go in... probably, I'm not a scientist, I don't know.

Serious lack of spoopy.

Like, let's just compromise... we need christmas zombies.

These are not zombies... 

Oh hey, Bridget... 

Nothing... NOTHING says "Happy flippin' holidays" like paintball blasting Christmas stuff.  

You can even ice skate... or fall on your butt repeatedly if you can't ice skate.  It's a $15 upcharge... standing on the side laughing at people falling on their butts is free.

They also have cabanas available... 

Of course there are shows to entertain your faces and ears... 

Inside the old Spruce Goose Dome, they have other things... there's like stuff to do and things to see and even a maze... but not like a murder death kill maze... more like a not murdery maze.  So... y'know... less zombies... in fact, I'm not sure there's any zombies.  

Yes, Alice in Winterland... 

Not as spoopy.

Maybe if there was more stabbing?

Don't smile, stab.  

Sup, Alice. 

It's actually really nicely done despite it's serious lack of spoopy. 

WTF IS A SELFIE SPOT? 

Good to see the Rivers of Light stuff actually getting used somewhere... 

They also have a carousel if you like going around in circles... 

And a slide for you to go down... 

And a shop in which you can buy literally every holiday thingy you could possibly want.

And Alice... 

And a martini bar?  You had me at martini.

Choices, choices... 

Welp... there ya have it... Chill at The Queen Mary... go do stuff, see the things, ride some stuff, maybe have a drink or 4. Who knows.  I'm not the boss of you.  But all the cool kids are going, so you might wanna get on that.  Nobody wants to be that guy that gets left out and sits at home picking their nose while watching Black Mirror on repeat while pondering the nature of modern life and the all invasive nature of social media while also suffering from existential dread.  OR DO YOU?  Maybe you do, I dunno.  I'm just here offering options... 

Alright... I'm done here.  So get out there, do stuff.  Be good humans.  GOO BAH!